Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Snarkity snark

Xtin's Top Six Most Hated Conversational Gambits
  1. Xtin! Haven't seen you for ages. What have you been doing? I mean, you know, other than writing up obviously?
    Moaning softly to myself, obviously.

  2. So when do you think you'll be finished?
    NEVER! Never ever! In the shame and ignominy of complete intellectual uselessness I shall be cast into outer darkness where evil winged beasties will feast upon my soul for all eternity! All right? Are you HAPPY now?

  3. Where are you from?
    Australia. Thank you for emphasising my otherness and status as an alien in my own home.

  4. Yes, obviously I knew that you were from Australia. I meant where in Australia?
    I apologise for understanding your question to be so much less subtle and intriguing than it in fact was.

  5. Why on earth would you come to live here? The weather is so dire.
    Forgot to factor that in to the life decision. Stupid me.

  6. Do you miss Australia?
    Yes, I do. Being away from my brother rips my heart out every day. Thanks for reminding me. Oh wait, you meant the mythical 365 days of tropical sunshine and Neighbours.

Xtin's Six Top Alternatives
  1. Xtin! Love the new hair!

  2. So I was watching this episode of Battlestar Galactica ...

  3. Coffee?

  4. Ultimately, do you think that Buffy's more mature relationship was with Spike, or Angel?

  5. There are blue tit fledglings on the lawn!

  6. Ice in your scotch?

6 comments:

pluvialis said...

"What do you do with your days?"
"How much longer do you have left with your research fellowship?" "Writing?"
"Goshawk?"
"What about the Cabinet Book?"
'How is the proposal?"

Tom Bozzo said...

Well, is ice in your Scotch essential or an abomination?

pluvialis said...

"What bird is that?"
"Coffee?"
"What is the operational ceiling of a U2?"
"Saltmarsh lamb?"
"Can we go for a walk in the countryside?"
"Are you bored, too?"

Meg said...

Xtin! I've still gotta watch season 3 of BSG! Wanna come over to watch it, eat ice cream, then chat about how awesome Starbuck is?

(How'd I do?)

Xtin said...

Pluv, "What is the operational ceiling of a U2?" utterly, utterly cracked me up.

Tom, good to see you! I do not consider ice in one's scotch an abomination, but I tend to drink it straight up nevertheless. But sometimes my mood is, uh, icy.

Meg, you score 3 for 3. BSG S3 is released here on DVD on Sept 6 so I am counting the days. NO SPOILERS!

Heidi the Hick said...

-do you work?

-are you getting paid for writing?

-No? so it's just....for fun?

-Riding? (questioner holds a limp wrist out in front and bounces up and down) Like, horses?

-so are you going to get a job now that the kids are getting older?

-Hey, it's the wife of the famous guy! What's it like to be married to a famous musician now?

Alternatives:

-how's the search for a literary agent going? (and yes I take this question even if I'm frustrated which I usually am...)

-Read any good books lately?

-Would you like a beer?

-What will you be charging for riding lessons once you get your certificate?

-Would you like another beer?

-Are you getting totally sick of people coming up to you in the grocery store and asking stupid questions because they saw your husband's picture in the paper but they didn't read the article and therefore think that he's a musician but it doesn't matter because none of them have a clue what a recording engineer does anyway?

Hey that was fun. Thanks!