Monday, August 06, 2007

100 things


1. I talk very quickly.

2. This used to worry me.

3. Now I figure, keep up.

4. I like birds.

5. But only since I moved to Britain.

6. Go figure.

7. I was born in Australia.

8. I don't miss it like I thought I would.

9. But I do in ways I thought I wouldn't.

10. I'm short, but not so short that people remember it.

11. I have a codependent relationship with my hair.

12. I like typography.

13. I laugh at phrases like "I read a lot."

14. Because people who say that don't.

15. Because people who do don't say that.

16. I'm the sort of person who makes lists of phrases like that.

17. Autumn is my favourite time of year.

18. I don't hunt.

19. I am not opposed to hunting.

20. Bad reasoning about hunting makes me crazy with rage.

21. Bad reasoning about the environment makes me crazy with rage.

22. Bad reasoning typically makes me crazy with rage.

23. Even when it's about something unimportant like metaphysics.

24. I have fervent gender-political views.

25. I'm not vocal about them.

26. Except when someone pisses me off.

27. I think I've surprised some people.

28. I've been in love three times.

29. I've now been celibate about ten times as long as I would previously have claimed was possible.

30. I'm a cynical romantic.

31. I worry that I've chosen things that are too hard because to do easy things is cheating.

32. I worry that I've chosen things that are too easy because I'm lazy.

33. I love boxes.

34. Like, really love them.

35. Especially ones made of Kraft board.

36. I giftwrap using Kraft paper and white cotton string.

37. Brown paper and string. Because ... yes, really.

38. I have the same middle name as my mother.

39. I wish that my middle name was her mother's, instead.

40. I like systems and systematicity of all kinds.

41. But not formal logic or mathematics.

42. Although those talented in those areas impress the hell out of me.

43. I think in big clouds of connections but talk in very straight lines.

44. This can be intimidating.

45. Apparently.

46. I've never been to Japan.

47. I like my Vegemite applied very sparingly.

48. I'm not at all pleased about 29.

49. I like fairytales.

50. Because they're brimming with rage and vengeance and blood.

51. And stuff.

52. I used to wear expensive suits.

53. Now I wear Gap demi-boot-cut.

54. I consider this excellent progress.

55. If I think about leaving England, my heart breaks.

56. I hate being an expat.

57. In my dreams I live in an Arts and Crafts house.

58. I'd love to to write criticism for a literary paper.

59. I live around some very, very intelligent people.

60. And two hundred metric assloads of insecurity.

61. This can be very trying.

62. The tradeoff is good.

63. I can't draw.

64. Sometimes, I can.

65. I drink a lot of coffee.

66. I like it strong, sweet and milky.

67. Which sort of embarrasses me.

68. I like scotch neat or with one cube of ice.

69. I quote a lot of molesworth.

70. And Buffy.

71. And Douglas Adams.

72. And Star Wars.

73. I automatically assume that anyone with a gap in their knowledge of any part of the original Star Wars oeuvre is culturally ignorant.

74. That's not reasonable.

75. I have never bitten my nails.

76. I like red objects.

77. But my favourite colour is green.

78. I miss my brother every single damn day.

79. I am annoyingly evangelist about LaTeX.

80. I find exceptional competence of almost any description ridiculously hot.

81. I'm woefully overeducated.

82. I'm woefully undereducated.

83. I'm woefully dilettanteish.

84. I don't know whether or not I'm afraid of being by myself.

85. I really like to sleep.

86. P G Wodehouse makes me laugh even if I have spent the entire day weeping in the bathtub.

87. There was no religion in my upbringing.

88. But there was a bunch of other class-related crap I could have done without.

89. My parents believed in education.

90. Go figure.

91. The first boy I kissed tasted like coffee.

92. It's still all about the kiss.

93. For many years, I had bed linen in all different patterns and colours. Especially stripes.

94. My sheets have been plain white for five years.

95. Words are my friends.

96. Along with some people.

97. I have engraved writing paper.

98. This makes me feel at home.

99. I am often lonely.

100. I always use a pencil. Except for crosswords.

12 comments:

FullQuieting said...

Whoa. Cool!

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh man, this was so much fun!

Phantom Scribbler said...

One of the best 100 things I've seen yet. I laughed aloud at 13-16. Of course.

Now that I've managed to click through to teh Flickr, I can appreciate why you have a codependent relationship with your hair. It is lovely.

Xtin said...

Thanks FQ and Heidi!

And thanks, PS ... about the hair, and about the list.

And gawd, it is just not right how proud I feel to make you laugh when you live in a house with BB, one of the world's great humourists. I was going to say "unsung humourists" but then I figured that actually, BB is like, totally famous an' shit. :)

Tom Bozzo said...

What PS said. My biggest laugh was from #60 (if only I could have 0.01 metric assload of Lego for every assload of insecurity!), sigh was #97 (having different surnames in the family complicates one's relationship with a stationer by two or three assloads; at the same time, it doesn't matter because occasional efforts to revive postal letter-writing with select friends have been miserable failures).

dr. hypercube said...

Teh awesum. Thanks.

Velvet ears (Dinah), Boone and Janey (the 2 older ones) send their regards. Dinah is making puppy sleep noises on my lap as I type. Win!

Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh my god. I need to print these comments out so that when she is 12 or 13 and having just the most rotten day, I can show her that she was once termed "one of the world's great humourists"!

Right now, of course, she totally knows it.

Keston Sutherland said...

Dear Xtin,

In respect of your point 58., fancy doing something for QUID? It's a ruffian underjournal, filthy sheets. You can read some back issues on the Barque Press website. I like what you say about 'Marzipan.' Have you read it in the context of _Bands Around the Throat_?

Xtin said...

Hello, Keston. Heavens, if I'd had any notion of who might be reading my amateurish musings, I might have gone and hidden under the bed instead.

I'm much too ignorant ever to have read any poetry in context (no, really -- I'm not being disingenuous here) but I really must get my hands on a Prynne collection and immerse myself properly. I keep browsing editions in Heffers and then putting them back, intimidated.

I'd love to write something for QUID. How very exciting. Anything ever described as a "bumper bag of brain brisket" has to be a good thing.

I notice that my style is somewhat ... divergent from that which generally appears. Perhaps that is just what the Dr ordered?

Scrivener said...

I just love this list. I still need to do one of these 100-things things.

Keston Sutherland said...

Hi Xtin,

The Dr. was long ago relieved of his order pad and his budget inhumed under the nearest convenient spot marked X. So you should write, you know, *anything*, or if *anything* doesn't grab you, then please write *anything else*. I'm really glad you'd like to. My email address is on my homepage on the University of Sussex site.

Prynne makes everyone feel ignorant. Whenever I feel like a bracing fit of ignorance, I know my resort.

I'll send you his latest book if you like.

Very best, Kton

Xtin said...

I do like!